You make a cuppa, open a message and reply to another. By the time you take a sip, your tea is colder than the bathroom floor. In the meantime, you have planned the shopping, held an imaginary argument and remembered a song from fifteen years ago. Your mind has had quite an outing. You are still in the kitchen.
Sometimes we are distracted. Sometimes we are tired, worried or dealing with too much at once. Mindfulness can be a way of exploring those moments with curiosity. Every sip needn't become a ceremony, and your brain is unlikely to fall silent simply because you have issued instructions.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness means paying attention to what is happening now, within you or around you, while trying not to judge yourself for what you notice. You can practise during meditation or an everyday activity. Having thoughts is part of the experience.
“Without judgement” does not mean approving of everything. You can notice anger and still need to set a boundary. You can remember things or make plans. The idea is to notice where your attention has gone and choose, when you can, what to return to.
Start with one small thing
Choose a moment when you can pause without neglecting something important. Sit, stand or find a position that works for you. You can keep your eyes open.
- Choose something you can notice: a sound, a colour, the feel of a sleeve or your breathing, if attending to it feels comfortable.
- Observe it briefly: it may change or stay much the same. You do not need a poetic description.
- If you get distracted, notice and return when you want to. You can also finish and get on with your day.
That is a starting suggestion, not an assessment. If focusing inward feels uncomfortable, look at something around you or leave the exercise. There is no mindfulness inspector hiding under the mug.
Small opportunities in an ordinary day
The first sip
If you fancy it, notice the flavour or temperature of a drink once it is cool enough to drink. Then carry on with breakfast. You needn't eat an entire meal in silence, put down your cutlery between every mouthful or turn the table into a concentration training centre.
You might prefer noticing the light by the window. That can be a starting point too. Choose something accessible and comfortable for you.
Washing a mug
While washing up, you could briefly notice the sound of the water or the movement of the sponge. Stay aware of the hot water and the dishes in your hands. If you wear gloves, choose a sensation that you can notice.
And if you think, “What a boring pile of washing-up”, you have noticed a thought. You needn't turn it into a passionate love of saucepans. Mindfulness will not share out the housework either. That may require a conversation.
A walk or a moment on a bench
Somewhere quiet, you could look at a tree, listen to a sound or notice the air. If you are walking, you might attend to the contact of your feet with the ground. If you are sitting, choose another point of attention. No posture earns extra marks.
Outside, stay aware of traffic, crossings and what is happening around you. An attention exercise needs to fit the activity. If getting about takes all your attention, you can try this another time.
A conversation
Listen to the end of a sentence. If you're not sure what they mean, ask rather than guessing. You could put your phone aside if you do not need it to communicate or deal with something important.
There is no need for fixed eye contact or an exactly timed pause before answering. People can listen well in different ways, including while looking elsewhere or moving. The aim is to attend to the conversation, rather than perform the role of a perfectly serene person.
Between tasks
If your work allows it, pause before switching tasks to check what you were doing and what needs doing next. Reduce distractions you can control while keeping necessary alerts and responsibilities in mind.
A pause does not guarantee better performance or fix an excessive workload. Sometimes you need rest, help or a change in how work is shared. Breathing beside a keyboard cannot sort out everything.
A reminder that doesn't nag
Pick a simple cue if you find it helpful: finishing a task, sitting in your usual spot or seeing a note. It can invite you to notice something for a moment. If it becomes a nuisance, change it or remove it.
A Magikito with a Calm Spark could be part of that playfulness. The Spark belongs to its fictional world. The figure would simply be a reminder you had chosen, like a drawing or a word on paper. You don't need to buy anything or set five alarms a day to check that you're breathing mindfully.
Does it only count if I feel calm?
No. Noticing that you are distracted or restless does not mean you have done it wrong. You do not have to continue if you feel worse. The NHS explains that mindfulness does not help everyone and can make some people feel worse.
If a practice increases your distress, stop. You could look around, change activities or seek some company. If the distress persists or concerns you, speak to a healthcare professional. Pushing through does not make you better at this.
Reasonable expectations
Meditation and mindfulness programmes have been studied for difficulties such as stress and anxiety. Results vary, and some of the research has limitations. The NCCIH discusses the evidence and its limits. It also advises against replacing healthcare with these practices or delaying a consultation.
A pause of a few seconds is not the same as a therapeutic programme. There is no universal timetable in which you improve in month two and have everything sorted by month three. Nor do three breaths “reset” your nervous system as though you were the broadband router.
Notice whether you find this useful, unremarkable or uncomfortable. You can change the approach or leave it. Worrying about the future, needing distraction or having no spare time does not mean you are wasting your life.
The tea is still tea
Perhaps today you notice the warmth of the mug. Perhaps you remember to listen a little more closely. Perhaps you need to finish breakfast and dash. None of this needs to become a competition over who inhabits the present most impressively.
Our small everyday rituals explore that curiosity about what is already nearby. Take an idea and try it when it suits you. The Magikito will still be with his mushroom, which has yet to send him a single notification.
