You settle into a chair for a quiet moment. Ten seconds later, you remember you need loo roll. Then a song you haven't heard since school starts playing in your head, followed by a completely uninvited thought about your old PE teacher. So much for inner silence. It's busier in there than the station on a Friday afternoon.
Does that mean you're rubbish at meditation? Not necessarily. Having thoughts doesn't disqualify you. Before you give up on the cushion, it helps to know what meditation involves, what you might reasonably expect and why an empty mind isn't an entry requirement.
What is meditation?
Meditation covers a range of practices involving attention, awareness and the relationship between mind and body. Some involve attending to breathing, a sound, an image or a repeated word. Others invite you to notice whatever arises, without following every thought or judging yourself for having it.
Many have religious or spiritual histories. Meditation is also practised in secular settings. You can try a simple exercise without taking on a set of beliefs, while recognising that the traditions it comes from have meaning beyond that exercise.
Take a practice based on listening to a sound. After a while, you're planning dinner. You notice this and return to listening, if you want to continue. That return is part of the practice. You haven't been defeated by a jacket potato.
How mindfulness fits in
Mindfulness involves attending to what is happening now, while trying not to judge what you notice. You can practise it during meditation or an everyday activity. So dividing the two into “meditation on the cushion” and “mindfulness everywhere else” doesn't really work. There isn't a checkpoint at the edge of the rug.
Our article on mindfulness in everyday life offers short examples. You don't have to combine every approach for your efforts to count. You can explore one, try another or decide you'd rather spend that time resting in a different way.
A few ways to approach it
Attend to something specific
You might choose a sound, an image or the movement of your breathing, if that feels comfortable. Some practices use a mantra, a repeated word or phrase. What you've chosen gives you something to return to when you notice you've drifted off. Perfect concentration isn't required.
Notice what comes along
Other practices invite you to notice thoughts, sensations or sounds without trying to follow each one. You might recognise that you're making plans, then hear a car. You don't have to sort out those plans during the exercise or treat every sensation as a mysterious message.
Follow a guide
A person or a recording can talk you through the steps. That's a way of getting support, not a lesser form of meditation. If a guide helps, you don't have to graduate to silence. Choose clear instructions and a voice you can bear listening to. A grand performance of serenity can become rather trying.
A simple exercise at home
Find somewhere you can pause without needing to deal with another task. A chair is fine. So is another position that suits your body. There is no need to sit on the floor, cross your legs or stay in a position that hurts. You can keep your eyes open.
For a first try, choose a brief spell, perhaps a minute or less. That's an invitation to explore, not a prescribed dose or a promise of results. Use a gentle timer if you like. If setting everything up becomes a faff, leave the timer out and finish when you want to.
- Choose something to attend to. Try a sound nearby or an object in front of you. If you prefer your breathing, let it continue at its usual pace, without forcing it or holding your breath.
- Notice something ordinary. The sound moves closer or further away, the object casts a shadow, air passes in and out as you breathe. You needn't discover anything remarkable.
- When you get distracted, return if you want to. “I was thinking about something else” is enough. No telling yourself off or restarting the clock.
- Finish and look around. Notice how you feel, then carry on with your day. You can also stop before completing these steps.
If focusing on your body feels uncomfortable, choose something around you or leave the exercise. This is a small exploration, not an endurance test.
What the research can tell us
Meditation and mindfulness programmes have been studied for difficulties involving stress, anxiety and sleep. Some findings are encouraging, but results vary between practices, people and studies. The NCCIH explains the evidence and its limitations, including uneven research quality.
A structured programme may also include sessions with trained professionals, group discussions and other strategies. That's different from listening to a recording or trying this brief exercise at home. We can't apply those findings to every exercise as though they were interchangeable.
Nor is there a universal timetable for noticing a difference. Someone else's better sleep doesn't guarantee yours, and an image of brain activity doesn't, on its own, show that you'll feel calmer. Meditation shouldn't replace healthcare or become a reason to put off seeking it.
Do I have to keep going if I feel worse?
No. If the practice increases your distress, stop. You could look around, change activities or find some company if that helps. If the distress persists or concerns you, speak to a healthcare professional. Enduring anxiety or pain isn't a requirement for doing meditation properly.
The NCCIH discusses adverse experiences and notes that research into them remains limited. Someone guiding you should be willing to explain their training, allow adaptations and take your experience seriously. “You're just resisting” doesn't address what is happening to you.
Something that fits your life
If you'd like another go, pick a time that works with your day. It needn't be dawn. A rushed morning rarely benefits from another obligation, and missing a day doesn't erase the last one. Adjust the length to how you are feeling.
Magikitos can accompany the idea with a story or a smile. Their Sparks belong to fiction, and a figure doesn't have therapeutic effects. If you enjoy it as a reminder, lovely. If what you need today is a conversation, a lie-down or some fresh air, you can choose that too.
Perhaps you returned to the same sound a few times. Perhaps you simply realised you were exhausted. You can notice that without drawing a grand conclusion about yourself. And if you remembered the loo roll, write it down. The shopping list is entitled to a bit of attention as well.
