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Perfect Life Diet

Everyday Life Jokes to Listen To
Perfect Life Diet

I started a new stress-based diet where I only eat when everything in my life is going perfectly.

I have lost 20 pounds in 3 days.

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Kilian 90,580 I'm the kind of person who walks extra slowly past the spice shelf at the supermarket just to pretend I know a very important curry secret. I drink my coffee way too hot, regularly forget where my glasses are even when they're sitting on my head, and I'm weirdly good at making pancakes in highly questionable shapes. There's a basil plant with a massive ego living in my kitchen, and yes, we have very serious talks. If you're into terrible puns, we're basically friends already. If not, you can still have a slice of still-warm lemon cake.

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