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What it means

Said after you’ve tempted fate by bragging that things are going alright, to stop yourself jinxing it. You’ll tap something wooden, the table, your head, whatever’s handy, or mime it if there’s no wood about. It’s the quick little verbal seatbelt in a chat, usually followed by frantic tapping and a nervous laugh.

Usage examples

"Car’s been running sweet all year, touch wood. Dan starts patting the bar like a loon, then clocks it’s laminate and goes, We’re doomed."
"We've not had a single breakdown all year, touch wood."
"The weather should hold for the wedding, touch wood, she said tapping the table."
"Haven't called in sick once this winter, touch wood... hang on, where's an actual bit of wood in this place?"
"The boiler's behaved itself all month, touch wood, and now everyone's knocking the kitchen counter just in case."
Tone
Affectionate Funny Festive

Where it comes from

This one’s old and properly widespread in Britain. The custom of touching wood as a luck-protecting move is recorded from the 19th century, tied to folk superstition. People later linked it to sacred trees or Christian symbolism, but the solid bit is simple: you say it, tap wood, and try not to tempt fate.

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